she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
