Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This is my gift to your gina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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