its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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