we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
