i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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