He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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