i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
