; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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