I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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