Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
