yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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