Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
