Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
