yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
two words: eviction party
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
