hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
