I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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