just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize