Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am available for nakedness
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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