I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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