I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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