WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
