And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
