let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
