it's like iHOP with fire
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize