I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
