Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
