he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
