i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
