don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Drake has all the answers
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