I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize