He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
