I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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