i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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