he puts the penis in happiness.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
