so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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