I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We left the knife in your bed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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