where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
