Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize