My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
