So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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