I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
