More tranny stories later!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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