I CAN MOONWALK!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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