waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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