when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Screwed.edu
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize