I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
