North Korea, Best Korea!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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