YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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