your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
