sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize