well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize