It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
