my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
