I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
