Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
