So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize