just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
