I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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