she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
