Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
