i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
