We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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