Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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