No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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