i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
