Who wears a wallet chain?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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