I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
