i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize