Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
