he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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